How to Start Loving the Management Job you Hate
How do you find the strength and the courage to get up every morning and drive yourself to a workplace that sucks the life out of you on a daily basis? There is always the option to leave but what if that’s not possible for you at this point. How do you find peace, tranquility, freedom, and fulfillment while navigating the volatile climate of your corporate job? Okay, maybe not tranquility but at least 3 out of the 4? How do you stay true to your values and beliefs while working for a company whose values are completely misaligned with yours? How do you maintain your integrity and feel good about yourself when your head hits the pillow at night when you are expected to drink the cool-aid and work in a culture that believes fear, ego, and conformity is the best course of action. Is it even possible? Yes, it is if you are willing to look in a new direction.
What if instead of perpetuating the culture, what if you had influence over shifting the energy of the culture.
What if you were the catalyst for a culture shift? Instead of defaulting to seeing what is lacking in a situation consider how you might look at what’s good and what’s working. Try to approach the day with "how could I provide value" rather than “what’s in it for me”. Instead of feeling like you have to compete with your colleagues, try to partner with them and work on common goals. Of course, that is not going to be easy but if you are committed to staying with that company and are also committed to being happy and fulfilled, you may have to stretch and grow outside of your comfort zone.
Sometimes being in management feels like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. The pressure and stress of having employees under you who expect you to have all the answers, fix their problems, and promote them just because they exist are constant, relentless, and thankless. On the other side of this scenario is your boss who is busy managing up, expects you to know and understand the goals and vision of the department without actually communicating them to you and really doesn’t care about how overworked you are because you are perceived as replaceable. “I know plenty of people who would love to be in your shoes”. They may not actually say those words but they have a way of making you feel that way just the same.
I don’t have any regrets when it comes to my tenure within the organization with whom I worked for many years despite how miserable and unhappy I was. I can see how my actions and behaviors contributed to the culture. I decided to take responsibility for my own actions and learn from those events. It’s easy to blame everyone else or your boss for the inadequacies of the how the department is run but ultimately you had a hand in creating that environment as well. I witnessed a lot of people wait for the boss to lead and expected to be the sole person responsible for moving the team forward but that caused more harm than good. Just because you have a boss over you doesn’t mean they deserve to be there or that they possess good leadership skills. Inadequate, incompetent, ineffective bosses are everywhere. If you are one of the lucky few to have someone you respect, admire, and trust, go straight to church and light a candle and count your blessings. Those are few and far between. But wouldn’t it be great if YOU were one of those few? Where instead of waiting for your boss to take the lead and you begrudgingly follow, be the leader, the role model, the agent of change.
What I’ve learned by working with other entrepreneurs is that collaboration will exponentially help you move towards your goals quicker than by yourself. A strong partnership creates trust, loyalty, camaraderie, creativity, and ultimately productivity.
One of the things I love to see when working with people who are stuck and unhappy in their jobs is the shift that comes from them changing their perspective and approach. I worked with a woman who felt trapped, under appreciated, overworked and miserable in the management position she worked so hard to achieve. We looked at what was within her control and how she perceived her situation. We focused on the things that she enjoyed and that were within her scope of responsibility. She shifted her focus from what was lacking and not within her control to working with her team in developing their leadership skills, cast them in the right roles that highlighted their strengths and abilities, and encouraged and promoted an open and honest environment where her group felt safe to express themselves creatively. This shift not only created a productive, cohesive team but she was able to go to work with purpose, passion and a feeling of accomplishment. She was amazed at how different she felt when she realized what was within her control and how shifting her perception of her situation was an extremely powerful tool.
Most companies offer training, coaching, and mentoring as part of success planning. Take advantage of these perks and ask your HR rep if that is something you can be a part of. If they don’t offer it, ask if they would be open to it. This is especially helpful if you aren’t getting that type of guidance in your current position. Seek out opportunities to learn, grow, and extend your reach.
It’s time to shift the culture of egocentric, what’s in it for me kind of thinking to how do we collaborate where everyone benefits.
Create a strong team where people are all contributing and feeling good about their contributions. Not judging because their opinion is not in alignment with everyone else’s. Viva la difference. Welcome those differences. Build upon those ideas and change the course.
Keeping your hand of cards close to your chest may be the survival technique that got you this far but at what cost? What if you opened up your hand and shared with a colleague in an effort to work together and contribute positively. After all, don’t you want to feel good at the place you spend most of your time? If the goal is to get ahead no matter what the cost, then by all means, stay the course but if you want to feel good about yourself, feel like you are making a difference, shifting the culture to a more conscious business practice, then it starts with you. How you show up. Be the role model. Get fear out of the workplace and remove the unhealthy, toxic energies. Don’t wait for a health crisis to be the bat to the head. Engage and focus on creating relationships that help the organization, and you, flourish and thrive.
Change starts with you.
“You must be the change you want to see in the world” – Mahatma Gandhi
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About the writer
Lynn Finley is a writer and life coach who helps her clients bring a sense of well-being, balance, and ownership to work/life challenges and transitions. Lynn has over 25 years of corporate experience, including as a Senior VP at Disney, where she led a 100-person team and is a Certified Professional Coach. Lynn is a contributing author to the personal transformation book series Pebbles in the Pond-Wave Three and the Grown and Flown website. Learn more